Dear Washed-up Meathead, Look, I've got nothing but respect for you. You gave me Playboy, bourbon whiskey, and barbells. You taught me how to pick up girls, when to flip the burgers, and why I should always wash my hands immediately after using Icy Hot. (Worst ball scratching experience ever.) You took me to the gym, handed me a program, and told me to bust my ass. And it worked. Over the years, I've gotten bigger, stronger, and more confident.

Joe Defranco Workout - Athlete Training and Seminar. Joe defranco, athlete training, seminar. Joe DeFranco's Upper body warm-up routine - Duration. WATCH: elitefts Fitness Professional Summit — DeFranco's Story and How to Start. Jim Wendler's 5/3/1 program and Joe DeFranco's Westside for Skinny.

But then I noticed something. I noticed you're still doing the very program you handed me years ago. Well, let me tell you, sir, it's gone stale. You've gone stale. You may be a washed-up meathead, but that doesn't mean you should be doing a program that doesn't hold water. So I've decided to pay you back.

I want you to be in the best shape of your life. I want you to grow some bigger muscles, shed some fat, and start performing like the badass you once were. That's why I contacted self-proclaimed washed-up meathead Joe DeFranco to help whip you into shape. He's got five rules for writing your own badass program and even included a sample program at the end of the article.

You can thank me later. Sincerely, A Young Punk PS – What's up with the flamboyant Christian Audigier shirts and True Religion jeans you've been wearing?

That's just weird, man. A quick note from DeFranco 'I've received a lot of hate mail over the past few years from the 30 and older meathead crowd. 'Your programs are just for athletes,' they say.

'I don't have time to do all that stuff.' And I know how they feel. You get older and take on more responsibilities. You have a career. Your joints hurt.

The days of college, eating shit foot, getting hammered, sleeping for a few hours, and waking up refreshed are over. Digital signage software open source mac. You don't want to train six days per week. The guys who email me or show up to my gym have been lifting weights their whole lives. It's nothing new to them. And that's the main problem. Without variety, you won't gain muscle.

But really, what good is gaining muscle if your joints hurt all the time or you can't even wipe your own ass? What these washed-up meatheads need is functional muscle.

No, I'm not talking about any bullshit Bosu balls. I'm talking about benching heavy weight without your shoulder hurting. I'm talking about coaching your son's football team and running a few pass patterns to show the little suckers how it's done.

I'm talking slabs of muscle, no fat, with lungs of steel. I've got five rules for these guys. And if they follow them, I have no doubt they'll be built like a badass.' DeFranco's 5 Rules 1 – Train Three Days Per Week 'Recovery is the key to strength and looking good,' says DeFranco. 'You can't come into the gym sore because you won't have the strength or endurance you need for the workout.'